What is the difference between wanting and needing someone




















Instead of looking for another person to fill the parts of you that feel incomplete, why not invite someone to love all of those parts of you, including those pieces that sometimes make you feel less than whole. No matter who you're with or what stage of life you're in, you're always going to have a feeling that something are missing. As you have children, your social life might take a hit. As you move up in your career, you might not be able to grab drinks as often as you once did.

When you buy a house, you might feel like you wish you had more spending money. Life ebbs and flows. Look for someone who rides the waves with you instead of depending on someone to fish you out of any potentially hot water. Needing a man means trying to say only the right things. Wanting a man means saying what you really think and feel.

One of the things my dad loves the most about my mom is that he never knows what she's thinking. It's kept him interested for 30 years , and it's something I hope for in my marriage. If you can't say what you really think and are always concerned about saying the exact right thing to keep someone interested in you, then you lose out on someone loving you for who you are. His responsibility is to participate in the world that he has been put in, despite its outward appearance.

With or without him, the war will rage on, lives will end, and people will suffer. Inaction accomplishes nothing. The reality around us is inherently uncertain. The world will continue to change. People will, too. And chaos will ensue. These things can be managed and accounted for, but they can never be fully controlled.

What can be controlled is movement, and action, and the direction in which they point. When I think about this distinction in my own life, there is another thing that becomes clear: Whenever I act out of need and fixation, feeling like I have to have something, that my actions in a particular domain will only be meaningful if they lead directly to my desired outcome, not only am I disappointed more often, but the movement and the actions themselves are less honest. They come from a place of quiet desperation rather than a deeper state of internal resonance.

They seek attention or validation. Even if my intention behind such neediness is pure and moral, the fixation on the outcome invalidates the actions themselves, which in turn deters me from capitalizing on future actions and their outcomes.

Actions then become conditional, on this thing and on that thing, and that slowly begins to cloud otherwise good intentions, too. But if you feel you truly need someone in your life to provide you with confidence or happiness, that might be a sign of codependency. Love, on the other hand, has roots in a neurochemical process that creates feelings of euphoria, Silva explains, describing it as "intoxicating" and "intense.

A person can demonstrate love through their actions in addition to feeling a specific emotion. In other words, you can want to spend all your free time with someone… while showing them how much you love them by treating them with care and affection. Early detection of this neediness is crucial, although often overlooked.

Wanting, on the other hand, is the first step in learning how to love someone. When you want someone in your life, you want them there because life is more fun with them by your side. You want them because you are a complete person without them, but you know that they make you happy. The difference between need and want is the difference between codependence and love.



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