Negotiation presumes which of the following

Criticism and demands can also play into cumulative annoyance. We have all probably let critical or demanding comments slide, but if they continue, it becomes difficult to hold back, and most of us have a breaking point. The problem here is that all the other incidents come back to your mind as you confront the other person, which usually intensifies the conflict. A good strategy for managing cumulative annoyance is to monitor your level of annoyance and occasionally let some steam out of the pressure cooker by processing through your frustration with a third party or directly addressing what is bothering you with the source.

No one likes the feeling of rejection. Vulnerability is a component of any close relationship. When we care about someone, we verbally or nonverbally communicate. We may tell our best friend that we miss them, or plan a home-cooked meal for our partner who is working late. The vulnerability that underlies these actions comes from the possibility that our relational partner will not notice or appreciate them. When someone feels exposed or rejected, they often respond with anger to mask their hurt, which ignites a conflict.

Managing feelings of rejection is difficult because it is so personal, but controlling the impulse to assume that your relational partner is rejecting you, and engaging in communication rather than reflexive reaction, can help put things in perspective.

Interpersonal conflict may take the form of serial arguing , which is a repeated pattern of disagreement over an issue. Serial arguments do not necessarily indicate negative or troubled relationships, but any kind of patterned conflict is worth paying attention to. The pattern may continue if the other person repeats their response to your reminder. A predictable pattern of complaint like this leads participants to view the conflict as irresolvable.

The second pattern within serial arguments is mutual hostility, which occurs when the frustration of repeated conflict leads to negative emotions and increases the likelihood of verbal aggression. Again, a predictable pattern of hostility makes the conflict seem irresolvable and may lead to relationship deterioration.

Whereas the first two patterns entail an increase in pressure on the participants in the conflict, the third pattern offers some relief. If people in an interpersonal conflict offer verbal assurances of their commitment to the relationship, then the problems associated with the other two patterns of serial arguing may be ameliorated. Even though the conflict may not be solved in the interaction, the verbal assurances of commitment imply that there is a willingness to work on solving the conflict in the future, which provides a sense of stability that can benefit the relationship.

There are some negative, but common, conflict reactions we can monitor and try to avoid, which may also help prevent serial arguing. Two common conflict pitfalls are one-upping and mindreading Gottman, Mindreading is communication in which one person attributes something to the other using generalizations.

Remember concepts like attribution and punctuation in these moments. Nicki may have received bad news and was eager to get support from Sam when she arrived home. Mindreading leads to patterned conflict, because we wrongly presume to know what another person is thinking. Validating the person with whom you are in conflict can be an effective way to deescalate conflict. As with all the aspects of communication competence we have discussed so far, you cannot expect that everyone you interact with will have the same knowledge of communication that you have after reading this book.

But it often only takes one person with conflict management skills to make an interaction more effective. Now we turn to a discussion of negotiation steps and skills as a more structured way to manage conflict.

We negotiate daily. We may negotiate with a professor to make up a missed assignment or with our friends to plan activities for the weekend. Negotiation in interpersonal conflict refers to the process of attempting to change or influence conditions within a relationship.

The negotiation skills discussed next can be adapted to all types of relational contexts, from romantic partners to coworkers. The stages of negotiating are prenegotiation, opening, exploration, bargaining, and settlement Hargie, In the prenegotiation stage, you want to prepare for the encounter. If possible, let the other person know you would like to talk to them, and preview the topic, so they will also have the opportunity to prepare. Can we sit down and talk tomorrow when we both get home from class?

In that case, you can still prepare, but make sure you allot time for the other person to digest and respond. During this stage you also want to figure out your goals for the interaction by reviewing your instrumental, relational, and self-presentation goals.

Is getting something done, preserving the relationship, or presenting yourself in a certain way the most important? For example, you may highly rank the instrumental goal of having a clean house, or the relational goal of having pleasant interactions with your roommate, or the self-presentation goal of appearing nice and cooperative.

Whether your roommate is your best friend from high school or a stranger the school matched you up with could determine the importance of your relational and self-presentation goals. At this point, your goal analysis may lead you away from negotiation—remember, as we discussed earlier, avoiding can be an appropriate and effective conflict management strategy. If you decide to proceed with the negotiation, you will want to determine your ideal outcome and your bottom line, or the point at which you decide to break off negotiation.

In the opening stage of the negotiation, you want to set the tone for the interaction because the other person will be likely to reciprocate. Generally, it is good to be cooperative and pleasant, which can help open the door for collaboration. There should be a high level of information exchange in the exploration stage.

The overarching goal in this stage is to get a panoramic view of the conflict by sharing your perspective and listening to the other person. In this stage, you will likely learn how the other person is punctuating the conflict. Although you may have been mulling over the mess for a few days, your roommate may just now be aware of the conflict. The information that you gather here may clarify the situation enough to end the conflict and cease negotiation.

If negotiation continues, the information will be key as you move into the bargaining stage. The bargaining stage is where you make proposals and concessions. The proposal you make should be informed by what you learned in the exploration stage. Flexibility is important here, because you may have to revise your ideal outcome and bottom line based on new information. If your plan was to have a big cleaning day every Thursday, you may now want to propose to have the roommate clean on Sunday while you clean on Wednesday.

You want to make sure your opening proposal is reasonable and not presented as an ultimatum. Can we agree to not leave any dishes in the sink overnight? If there are areas of disagreement, however, you may have to make concessions or compromise, which can be a partial win or a partial loss. If you both hate doing dishes, you could propose to be responsible for washing your own dishes right after you use them.

If you really hate dishes and have some extra money, you could propose to use disposable and hopefully recyclable dishes, cups, and utensils. In the settlement stage, you want to decide on one of the proposals and then summarize the chosen proposal and any related concessions.

It is possible that each party can have a different view of the agreed solution. If your roommate thinks you are cleaning the bathroom every other day and you plan to clean it on Wednesdays, then there could be future conflict. Is that right? Bobot, L. Cai, D. Canary, D. Clyde Hendrick and Susan S. Christensen, A. Dindia, K. Dsilva, M. Gates, S. Gottman, J. Hargie, O.

Isenhart, M. Johnson, K. Macintosh, G. Markman, H. Floyd, Scott M. Messman, S. Oetzel, J. Reese-Weber, M. Sillars, A. Privacy Policy. Skip to main content. This is a preview of subscription content, access via your institution.

Rent this article via DeepDyve. Bazerman, M. Google Scholar. Magliozzi, and M. Bazerman and R. Lewicki eds. Beverly Hills: Sage. Brehmer, B. Darling, T. Harsanyi, J. Lax, D. The Manager as Negotiator. New York: Free Press. Mumpower, J. Hammond and T. Stewart eds. New York: Oxford University Press.

Article Google Scholar. Neale, M. Huber, and G. Pruitt, D. Social Conflict: Escalation, Stalemate, and Settlement. New York: Random House. You can also find out more about Emerald Engage.

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